Your grand dad left home for the circus. He was young just like me,
with hope to explore. He married a girl in Virginia.
She could swing the trapeze; they could sleep on the floor.
Your mother was born in December, on the one sunny day that winter gave up.
She had warm summer eyes that flickered like fireflies,
when she stared at the world.
So why do you leave these stories unfinished,
my Cheshire cat doorstop with tears in her eyes?
Why do you look when you've already found it?
What did you find that could leave you walking by?
She was raised in a New England village.
Then she moved to LA with her firefly stare,
and you loved sunset strip when it sparkled,
you grew up and you sparkled but why don't you care?
So why do you leave these stories unfinished,
my Cheshire cat doorstop with tears in her eyes?
Why do you look when you've already found me?
What did you find that could leave you walking by?
These nights I get high just from breathing.
When I lie here with you I'm sure that I'm real,
like that firework over the freeway.
I could stay here all day but that's not how you feel.
So why do you leave these questions unanswered?
The circus awaits and you're already gone.
My Cheshire cat doorstop with fear in your smile,
what makes it so easy for you to be walking by?
And what did I do that you can't seem to want me?
Why do we lie here and whisper goodbyes?
Where can I go that your pictures won't haunt me?
What makes it so easy for you to be walking by?

well, thats a start. haha, i hope you guys read that, thats the best song, ever, its Something Corporate- Walking By. I think it tops Konstantine, but thats me. I think i like somebody, but i dont think im going to say, she probably wont like me back, like almost everybody, but its ok. im starting to think nice guys do finish last. why am i so emo? i have like no self-esteem, but i do, its weird, like i feel good about myself, but when it comes to girls, i like ok then, and i dont know. but ya, change of subject. i got more gummy bears, wahoo! and i plan on making raunchel a dirty picture with them. =]. shes into that whole porn thing, dont ask me why, shes kinda weird like that. i do not want to run tomarrow. seven miles (in which she moved back into tomarrow) its way far. freaking sabih cant even run that, thats such crap, oh and to top it off, im like having high expectations, this is perfect. haha, maybe she will cut it down, psh yeah right. and its not even like we run as a group she lets us run off, and its like mmm then, and so we have like pressure not to get passed, and everybody cheats. its funny. haha, i had fun today, i wish i were in grade 10, life would be fun, but i like 9 too, i wish we could like converge grades, that would work. im so stupid, i dont have any friends. but like, prosper isnt a big group of goody goodies any more, everyone is like bad it seems, and im like well then, haha, but high school is what you make it. i wrote the longest note ever today, it was to rachel, i was bored in study hall, so i took notes on erectus homosapiens. yea. i know. haha, they are the homosaiens (humans) who came before us and they like erected all this basic knowledge (i.e. fire, ya, i know) and so they like evolved into the homosapiens that we are today, arent you glad? ya, i wrote that in the note, haha, fun for raunchel. kyle is my emo friend. but hes still cool. ben (mexican) doesnt think i like him, i do, hes cool, except he is a poser off of me. but oh well, who doesnt want to be cool like me. oh wait. most everyone. (haha, thought i was gonna have high self-esteem didnt you?) kristin halback is so gay. she dumped dustin. oh well, hes so yesterday. i hope it wasnt b/c i was joking about telling her mom about them. haha. tricia=funny. she makes everything good. i love my cross country people. they rock. we have fun. i cant wait until the pasta party, ya heard me? haha, when the girls did the time trial and we were done, man that was classic. i could have died. will croxville is a funny funny kid. he has friends. and i beat him out of the locker room today (w00t w00t) oh yea, im bringing a radio tomarrow, so we can listen to w00p there it is, and shake ya tail feather. haha, cross country guys are great too. we have so much fun. reilly sad when cross country over. but hopefully i will still run, then i can be a stud and go varsity for cross country. i want to get my letterman so soon. but, i think i dont play enough sports, haha, im like only running, and i hate track meets, practice, ok, track meets, no fun. its like ok, i run like 4 laps around a boring track, no1 watches and most the time its freezing. not fun. at all. maybe i will only be 800, i would be ok with this. im listening to screaming infidelities. it reminds me of making out. it says and now i wish that i was anywhere with anyone making out...ya, true that. i havent like been like serious about any girl besides whitney, and that was along time ago, i like this new girl. shes nice. but im not going to get my hopes up for rejection. and plus if i told her how i feel, it would be weird. really weird. ecspecially because shes my cousin. but anyways today in geom. i was so bored. it was like the most boring thing ever. i wrote rachel her note then, and i kept writing up until athletics. im just kidden about her being my cousin. i gotcha though didnt i. im cool. well, im gonna go now, i hope you have enjoyes this entry. ой.